IVF Meds! Yikes!!

We are starting on week 2 of BCP. Today, I got a call from the pharmacy and about fell over with the cost of the medications. For people that do not have insurance to cover the cost of fertility medications, it is expensive! I spent a portion of today going over the list and checking to see where else I could get them filled. I was able to save about 50% by having them called in at various places. It is amazing to me that the cost of medications can vary so much!

I have also been looking at dates. ER is currently set for my Grandmothers birthday and if we do conceive on that date, then the baby will be due on our anniversary! It just seems like the timing would be so perfect. I vacilate between being so excited and then so scared. I am excited at the chance to be pregnant with our child but so scared that it wont take, that we will have wasted all that money or that we will get a BFP and then loose the baby. It is such a wave of emotions and they come and go.

I am so scared. We have so much riding on this and we are in the best hands, really. Dr. Knockmeup has the greatest success rates and the lab is great too. I am sure that we are in the best hands! As my nurse K, says, YOU will get pregnant! The power of positive thinking. I have to talk with my boss about needing days off. I can only hope that they are in different weeks so that I can take less PTO. But, I will do whatever I have to do. I have been taking my vitamins regularly and not drinking cokes! I miss them but know that the water is better for me. I really need to start walking again. Whether we get pregnant or not, walking will really help me!

My appointments are set up and ready to go. J and I have to make some decisions on what to do with the leftovers, if there are any. We have to sign consents three times! Yikes. I am sure that it will all be okay. I just wish that the packet would come in the mail so that we can get all the consents to review.

On to other non IVF news, J is switching jobs! He is going from nights to days and to part time! YEAH! I am so excited!! We expected him to go to days next summer now it is here early. YEAH!!! Sorry,I am just a bit excited.

T is doing good in school so far. Still having to remind him but oh, well.

Well, I am off to bed. Good night!

Thanks for all the well wishes!

I will certainly use them. As I told my Mom told when she said she would say a little prayer for me tomorrow - " Please mention I only need to know 61% of the answers". LOL!

Well, I am off the computer for some more cramming and jammin. I am going to review my notes, check my mental formula sheet, make sure that I have my two id's and how to get to the testing center. I planned to get there a bit early. Some people have been able to take the test earlier than scheduled. I just really want to avoid traffic on the way home.

In honor of all those who procrastinate when they should be doing other things - I will raise a glass to you tomorrow evening - Lets just hope it is in celebration of a job well done, not another couple of weeks of studying!

Any prayers, lite candles, mantra's go ahead and say them - My brain and I will appreciate it and will return the favor.

The blog I mentioned below ...

It is here.

I also want to give a shout out to my favorite soon to be new attorney - lag liv - I know she is going to pass the bar with flying colors!

Now back to our reguarly scheduled Lupron Moments.... due to be over with SOON!

Ode to Infertility

I read this today courtesy of a blog that I follow.... Boo Boos and Bandaid time.

Fear. I fear a lot in my life but I have learned you have to get over it. You have to hold your head high and march on, even when you dont want to. Someone once told me to fake it until I made it.

Well, lately I feel like I am doing a lot of faking it. I feel like a failure as a SP, I feel like a failure as a baby making human, I feel moody and short tempered. Overall, I am not sure that I like myself right now. I cry at the drop of a hat and have also been known to get annoyed quickly. Stupid people annoy me and whats more so, dumb people that cant follow the law yet throw stones on others, they annoy me worse.

Thanks for listening. Rant over.

1 shot, 5 to go

Mothers Day

I have a friend who I thought about today when I read the latest Dear Prudie.

I also thought about the mother who is trying to write massive papers while carrying for a fussy baby.

Or the new mother with an equally fussy baby!

I also cried when my stepson gave me the best poem in the world. It summed up our relationship pretty well.

Well, Happy Mothers Day! Got to go and help T with his paper due tomorrow.

The Lake House

For the last couple of nights, I have seen the movie - The Lake House. It is a really great movie about love, life and the journeys that life takes you on. I also feel that it is about how love grows when two people meet and how it grows through trials and tribulations.

The other night J was being so romantic and it reminded me of why I love him so much. It also brought up a post that LL of Lagliv had made on polygamy. The third paragraph is pretty much how I feel about J and our life. I could not imaging living with any one else despite all the issues that some how find there way into our life.

Life is about trusting the one that you choose, disagreeing when necessary, standing on your own and making sure that the hill you choose to die on is worth it. Communication is the key to every relationship whether it is your marriage, your friends, your boss or any of the many people that you come in contact with on a daily basis.

Got BOOBS?!

You might think that my title is a little provacative however it means a lot to one of my dear friends. She is starting on a walk for 60 miles tomorrow . She along with her team will walk 60 miles over three days and camp with them as well. It will be grueling but I know that she will get through it. She will do it for those that have gone before due to breast cancer, those battling it, those who have survived and those yet to take that journey.

GO Chrissy! I am so proud of you!!