7w Today

Today, I am 7w, exactly! Allday sickness is in the air along with loss of appetitie, headaches and extreme tiredness! Don't worry, I am forcing myself to eat something but yesterday even the refried beans didnt sound good! For those that know me well, you know that I love refried beans!!

The little ones will next be seen on Tuesday, 3pm for thier second camera appearance. We are hoping for nice little strong heartbeats! Mommy has been having dreams lately about babies!

In other news, I had to buy a BellaBand for my pants. This is a band that helps to hold up your pants when they fit everywhere but the waist. It is the best $$$ I have spent.

I will update more after our session on Tuesday!

5w4d

Good Morning! It is just a lovely day!! My beta this morning was a wonderful 8011 but my progrestrone is a stinky 28 - boo to the progrestrone! This morning also brought an early look see at what is to come in about 34ish weeks - Babies!!!

2 perfect little bubbles! I thought that I saw three, J and Dr. Knockmeup assured me it was 2 but the good Dr. gave it another look see and we are confirmed to have two little bubbles growing! We are so over the moon ecstatic! I will post a picture when I get home.

The nurse is supposed to call me back with an update as to what we need to do with my progesterone shots. I am thinking he will go up as they want to see a much higher number than what it is doing now and I know that I will do whatever it takes to make sure that we do not loose the precious cargo!

5w1d

Good Morning!

Well, my last beta on 10/12 did a wonderful thing, it doubled!! It was 684 Woohoo! I go in for an ultrasound on Monday, 10/19 along with another blood draw. It is supposed to be in the 6000
this time.

J and I are so excited! We hope and pray that the little one(s) are doing okay in there. I talk to them every day and let them know how much we want to meet them. For today, they are the size of a grain of rice. Funny, how I only occasionally eat rice! Now it will take on a whole new meaning!!

Let's see what else is new with me.... my butt and hips hurt! Bruises galore are the new fashion statement apparently. J says that I am getting really sensitive to the whole PIO thing. Thank goodness there are only 7 more weeks until it ends. YEAH, not even half way there yet. UGH!
The nausea is in full force, the boobs hurt (but that still could be PIO), I have lovely crampy and pulling sensations, I am constipated, I have acne and my hair looks like it hasn't been washed in years and I have heartburn. Oh, and I pee, a lot. I mean like every 10 minutes. No joking. I should take stock in the Charmin Company.

On Monday, I go to see how many little ones are sticking around - Will it be one, two, or three? And, alas, another beta test with progesterone. We are hoping for the 6000ish number and a good progesterone number as well. Stay tuned for an update on Monday.

In the meantime, I will leave you with this...

9dp3dt

Symptom watch continues....

• Nausea when brushing teeth - Check - Never had this one before
• Headache - check - Could be AF, could not be
• Not constipated - Check - Could be AF, could not be
• Tired - Check - Could be PIO

Hmmm. Well, we find out for sure on Thursday, and then we hope for a rising number on Monday. Thursday is Beta day and then it has to double within 48 hours for it to continue to be viable.

Only 2 more wake ups until blood draw day.

7dp3dt

Holy batman emotions!! Last night was a roller coaster, I was just so tired and so emotional. Every little twinge makes me wonder, is something happening that is good? Is it implantation twinges? I had some brown spotting yesterday and then again today. Just once yesterday and so far once today.

I was brave yesterday and did my own PIO shot. J thought though that I need to use the 1.5 inch needle versus the 1 inch needle. He will be home tonight and will resume giving me the shot. I have been feeling more and more twinges and light cramps along with the brown spotting. I am worried but I also know that these all can be signs of implantation.

Lets see what the rest of today will bring and tomorrow as well!

6dp3dt

Today is a day that many people get positive tests but I am not testing. I am contemplating testing tomorrow but I am really not sure. I know for sure that I will test on Thursday morning because I would rather be prepared for the news since I will be at work and J will be too.

I am really hoping that one of the three or two of the three or even all three stick around. The emotions of phantom symptoms are abounding. Most can be attributed to the Progesterone that I am injecting on a daily basis so I really dont know that the sore boobs are for the future kids or the shot in the butt. I am so scared that the pregnancy test wont come back as a positive. Everyone that I know that has used Dr. Knockmeup has gotten success on thier first try. In the far reaches of my head, there is a small tiny voice that every now and again says... he is do for a failure but I am sure he has those just not with my friends. SO, I hope the streak of success continues among the woman that I know who have used him, including me.

When do you think I should test?

7dp3dt?
8dp3dt?
9dp3dt?
10dp3dt?
11dp3dt? Beta Day

4dp3dt

In normal people speak, that is 4 days after a 3 day transfer. See the little guys, were on day 3 when Dr. Knockmeup decided they needed to go home and today is the 4th day from the 3rd day! Have I lost you yet? Good!

We got our freeze report yesterday and none made it to freeze. Very sad but I do see the light in that 2 were very early blastocysts. So, it just means they were a little behind. And, well that is okay. The ones that were put back were just a little behind so I am going with this whole trend that they will likely be late implanters. It is funny but I talk to them every day. I told J that people will think I am nutty but you know what, this is the closest we have ever gotten to getting KU so as far as I am concerned that I am until next Thursday.

Next Thursday is Beta day. The day, my poor bruised arms go before the nurse to suck out some more blood. At least this time, it is free! YEAH! I just have to wait a day for my progesterone test. I had wanted to fork out another $125 I could have had the test at the lab that does it in one day but I would really like to save some of what little money we have left.
It was funny, yesterday, I stuck something between my chest and my arm to open the car door and holy, heck, battman, my boobs HURT! I am going to attribute it to the PIO (progesterone in oil) that J thankfully gives me every night in the back side.
I do have some pictures of the little guys so I will leave you with images of what I hope will one day be in my arms.

3dt

Well, we did a 3dt today. They put back 2 - 7 cell grade 2.5 and one 6 cell 2.5. They are really hopefully that they will stick. We have 3 more growing away so I hope and pray that they grow to being frozen as well.

A look into my future efforts to have a baby....

I will never be one of those people that can get knocked up with a little luck and just plain ol sex. I will never be accidentally pregnant.
My pregnancy will be very timed and very expensive.
There will be lots of doctors visit and drugs.
Drugs to calm my ovaries, drugs to make them super ovulate, drugs to thicken the home for my hopeful, future child.
There will be nothing natural or accidental or old fashioned about conception.
There will be lots of planning, lots of scheduling and lots of one on one time with Dr. Knockmeup.
Injection training wont be in my future but not because I wont be getting them but because my other half can do that.
My refrigerator will hold all the usual things plus the meds as they must be kept cold.
Good by caffeine, alcohol and exercise because this is just so expensive that nothing can upset the delicate balance of my body
Hello to hormones on high alert, weight gain just because and tears without reason.

As I told my mother the other day, we have already spent the other kids college fund before they get to college so why not spend this future one's? I am sure Dr. Knockmeup and his staff need a new painting in the waiting room or a boat or something.

Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Dr. Knockmeup. He is very caring, takes his time and is so helpful. It really makes it just a bit easier to write out that check.

Anyway, today is a bad day for wishing, wanting but not able to start down that road just yet.

Sorry so long!

My oh My! It has been a long time. Summer is almost half over and we are still jugging along. J is doing well in school, T is back from one summer camp and on to another on Tuesday! I start teaching on Tuesday for an online course and sometime in the next couple of weeks, I am presenting at a conference in Dallas! Wooohooo!

T starts the 11th grade here shortly and J will start his last year of school in late August. S starts the 6th grade and I am sure there will be a large amount of girly, girly drama with teenagers or almost teenagers!

On the baby front, Dr. Knockmeup wants to proceed to IVF due to my situation so that is where we are going. J has to take care of some things and so do I but he has to go first.

That is the update from here and I will try to be a better blogger!

Cysts... why?!

I went to see Dr. Knockmeup today. We were supposed to get good news so that we could make the choice below. However, not only did my cysts NOT shrink.... I added one! Hot DAMN! My luck SUCKS.

So here is the revised list....

Option 1: IUI - 50% copay with Clomid and NOT injectables.

Option 2: IVF - Insurance doesn't pay anything for meds or procedures.

Dr. Knockmeup said that if the cysts dont go away he will go and do a lap. If he has to do that, then the lap will definitely tell him if Option 1 is even an option.

Stay tuned on the ride of life!

IUI or IVF?

It looks like we will need a little help from our friends... Mr. Green and Dr. Knockmeup. I have a couple of options - one insurance covers and one it doesn't.

Option 1: IUI - 50% copay. May or May not cover the drugs needed through my medical coverage.

• If insurance pays for Meds - I then think that this is a no brainer. We would try 2-3 before moving on to IVF.
• If insurance doesn't pay for Meds - then I think we may try 1 cycle and then move to IVF

Option 2: IVF - Insurance doesn't pay anything for meds or procedures.

• We would likely be able to do 1 IVF and one FET cycle.

I am not sure which is the best option that will get us to holding a baby that is ours. I feel it is a crap shoot either way. Only time will tell and Mr. Green and Dr. Knockmeup - will do their best to accomplish the mission.

IF Sucks

RE Update

Well, I got a cyst still so on to BCP I go. Lovely.
I go back in May for another exam and we will find out further test results on Wednesday.
It will be interesting to see what happens and how that changes our path next week.

Onwards and Upwards

Well another cycle came and went. We had good timing and I had three follies (eggs just waiting). In our joy to get KU, we went to the RE (reproductive endocrinologist), he asked us lots of questions, did an exam and then gave me some directions. I may or may not have a cyst so I get to go back in on Friday for another look. If it is a cyst, out it will come. Oh, Joy!

I also got to get some blood drawn. Lots of it. J has to have it done as well. He is being a little pokey about getting it done but I will remind him. We will get our results next Wednesday. Then we will have a game plan. It may include surgery for me and it may include IVF. If we have to do IVF, J and I have talked about trying to do a cycle in July. It would really be the best of the timings and since it has to be planned it will be when our timing works best.

J is almost half way done with his graduate program. I cant wait for him to be complete. I think that the rest of this semester will be hard, the summer even harder but I think it will become easier in the Fall, Spring and Summer. In order to make the summer work, we will have save up. There really is no way that J can work full time and do clinicals full time. Since he has to do clinicals to graduate, he will be working part time or some time. We will try to save as much as we can but I am sure that he will need to work some as well. In less than a year, he will be on DAYS! Yeah. I am so excited!!

It will nice to have him on days and be on days as well. T will be in his senior year. We will get to enjoy him and be home at the same time! Just a couple of more months until he has less than a year. In a couple of days, we will learn some more decisions in our life and then upward and onward.

20 lbs in 20 wks

Some of you may see the 20 lbs in 20 weeks icon to the right. See it, right over ........ there ---->>>>>>.

I follow Ash's blog. She has an inspiring tale and only has a few more pounds to lose before hitting triple digit weight loss. I decided to start with her on her challenge. So far, there are 141 of us that signed up. Want to loose some weight? Come on, join us!

Today, due to little ol Aunt Flo being here, I am up to 189. YUCK! Yesterday on the first official weigh in day it was 191. EVEN sadder. Why? Because at my doctors office, the gym and even home earlier this week it was 186. The whole losing weight thing will also help as we continue on our journey to get a healthy pregnancy. More updates on that to come!

One of the things that Ash wants us to do is to calculate your BMR. That is what you burn just sitting on your butt. Well, I burn 1623 just to keep this mass here. on. earth. I am eating about 1250 a day so, that means, that I am not even eating/exercising enough to loose 1 measly pound a week. I would ideally like to loose 2 pounds a week. So, that means that I have to burn an additional 620 ish calories every.single.day. I have started on that. I truly have.

See, for Lent this year, I was banned from giving up Fast Food by my son. He seems to have this fancy idea that Lent is an individual thing and that one should only give up something that will impact them and not others. He says that if I give up Fast Food then that precludes him from getting it since I wont even stop during Lent. Instead I gave up, being lazy. Lazy. Yes, you heard me. I went to the gym for 3 days the first week, 4 days the second and well, I am at 4 days this week although I need to get up to 5 days a week.

The hubby has been walking with me as well as the dogs. It is amazing how well the 4 legged children sleep at night/day when they have walked. This morning we did 5 miles. Wow. 5 miles!
The dogs they did 3. 1.5 miles to the track. Rest while Mom and Dad walked another 2 miles and then we all walked back home. Now, everyone but me is sleeping. Well, Tyler isn't sleeping because he is cleaning up his bathroom. Shudder. Boys.bathroom.shudder.

I double, dog, dare you to come on over and join Ash's is Fit 20 in 20 weeks.

Optimism

Today, I sit optimisitc. It is CD 16 and I have a Peak on my fertility monitor and a smiley face on my OPK. So, far there has been good timing and we will see how thing go. But I keep thinking, this is really the first time that we have had a good shot since I came off Lupron. Will it easily happen or will it be a much longer road? I feel optimistic in one sense while in the other I wait for the other shoe to drop. Only time will tell.

J sets his SA done on the 13th and on the 11th, I go in for Progesterone check. Here is hoping for a high number on both! If we are successful this cycle, it will be a Turkey Day baby. All, I really hope for is a healthy baby.

On to bed now so that maybe I can get a little luckier with that timing thing ;)

Big headed people and other annoying things.

This week has been an exercise in stupid people....

1. Co worker - "Well, if you know so much, why don't you share with us?" Me: Well, you approved the eLearning discuss this and unsaid "And since you approved it, don't you think you might have actually watched IT?" But I restrained myself.

2. Judge - Forgot to rule on a couple of motions. Hello! Dumba$$.

3. Head trainer to DH: Well, Credentialing organization takes default on payments very seriously. You defaulted and I will have your card pulled, your boss notified and your record updated.

Note to large headed trainer - That is called job threatening. As much as you don't think it is, it is. Oh, and the Credentialing organization has NO policy such as default on payments. Thankyouverymuch. One pissed off wife made a call to said Credentialing organization and they are making a phone call to your boss to inform your lovely self absorbed self that you are WRONG.

4. HR people at unknown place. Um, federal law is just that FEDERAL. You cant make up policies that are not in tune with it. There is a this little itty bitty thing called enforcement. Get a grip and get over it.

5. 2nd job people - I think you are interfering with my ability to conceive. If this continues, I may just have to let you know about that and see if we can work out alternative options. Like it takes 2 and it cant happen when one is not available - Get it? Good. Glad we got that settled.

6. Octuplet Mom - um, Student Loans aren't enough to pay all your bills. Get a job. Stop having kids and stop making people believe that IVF is oh, so easy.

7. My body. Please decide to be normal. Just until I get KU. Then ya know, do whatever, just be normal. 28 days cycles, would be great. Maybe through in a little ovulation every 15 or so days in 28. Thanks. Glad we got that all worked out.

8. Oh yeah, body... losing weight and then gaining it back and then losing it again. Not cool. Knock it off and keep it off. Got it? Thankyou.

Rant over. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Things I never knew or thought I would never do

Pee into a cup at work so that I have something to dip my OPK in to see where I am in my cycle.
Trying to not look obvious taking said cup and OPK into the bathroom and then disposing of them.

Having your assistant walk in while your putting the OPK box into your drawer.

Realize the difference between OPK's (must have 30ml of LH) and CBEFM (your cycle so it knows when you increase based on your usual LH)

That holding the stick in the cup makes for better results (CB help line told me that)

If you call CB Help line and have a possible stick issue, they will send you an entire box FREE!

Teenage boys really are clueless about teenage girls

Girl Scout Cookies, OPK, hairspray and Pads make up my drawer at work

I will never under the mysteries of CM

Maybe the reason DH and I never got PG before is because apparently our timing sucks.

Congrats Lance!

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/12/23/armstrong.baby/index.html

You give hope for all those out there with issues.