7w Today

Today, I am 7w, exactly! Allday sickness is in the air along with loss of appetitie, headaches and extreme tiredness! Don't worry, I am forcing myself to eat something but yesterday even the refried beans didnt sound good! For those that know me well, you know that I love refried beans!!

The little ones will next be seen on Tuesday, 3pm for thier second camera appearance. We are hoping for nice little strong heartbeats! Mommy has been having dreams lately about babies!

In other news, I had to buy a BellaBand for my pants. This is a band that helps to hold up your pants when they fit everywhere but the waist. It is the best $$$ I have spent.

I will update more after our session on Tuesday!

5w1d

Good Morning!

Well, my last beta on 10/12 did a wonderful thing, it doubled!! It was 684 Woohoo! I go in for an ultrasound on Monday, 10/19 along with another blood draw. It is supposed to be in the 6000
this time.

J and I are so excited! We hope and pray that the little one(s) are doing okay in there. I talk to them every day and let them know how much we want to meet them. For today, they are the size of a grain of rice. Funny, how I only occasionally eat rice! Now it will take on a whole new meaning!!

Let's see what else is new with me.... my butt and hips hurt! Bruises galore are the new fashion statement apparently. J says that I am getting really sensitive to the whole PIO thing. Thank goodness there are only 7 more weeks until it ends. YEAH, not even half way there yet. UGH!
The nausea is in full force, the boobs hurt (but that still could be PIO), I have lovely crampy and pulling sensations, I am constipated, I have acne and my hair looks like it hasn't been washed in years and I have heartburn. Oh, and I pee, a lot. I mean like every 10 minutes. No joking. I should take stock in the Charmin Company.

On Monday, I go to see how many little ones are sticking around - Will it be one, two, or three? And, alas, another beta test with progesterone. We are hoping for the 6000ish number and a good progesterone number as well. Stay tuned for an update on Monday.

In the meantime, I will leave you with this...

9dp3dt

Symptom watch continues....

• Nausea when brushing teeth - Check - Never had this one before
• Headache - check - Could be AF, could not be
• Not constipated - Check - Could be AF, could not be
• Tired - Check - Could be PIO

Hmmm. Well, we find out for sure on Thursday, and then we hope for a rising number on Monday. Thursday is Beta day and then it has to double within 48 hours for it to continue to be viable.

Only 2 more wake ups until blood draw day.

7dp3dt

Holy batman emotions!! Last night was a roller coaster, I was just so tired and so emotional. Every little twinge makes me wonder, is something happening that is good? Is it implantation twinges? I had some brown spotting yesterday and then again today. Just once yesterday and so far once today.

I was brave yesterday and did my own PIO shot. J thought though that I need to use the 1.5 inch needle versus the 1 inch needle. He will be home tonight and will resume giving me the shot. I have been feeling more and more twinges and light cramps along with the brown spotting. I am worried but I also know that these all can be signs of implantation.

Lets see what the rest of today will bring and tomorrow as well!

6dp3dt

Today is a day that many people get positive tests but I am not testing. I am contemplating testing tomorrow but I am really not sure. I know for sure that I will test on Thursday morning because I would rather be prepared for the news since I will be at work and J will be too.

I am really hoping that one of the three or two of the three or even all three stick around. The emotions of phantom symptoms are abounding. Most can be attributed to the Progesterone that I am injecting on a daily basis so I really dont know that the sore boobs are for the future kids or the shot in the butt. I am so scared that the pregnancy test wont come back as a positive. Everyone that I know that has used Dr. Knockmeup has gotten success on thier first try. In the far reaches of my head, there is a small tiny voice that every now and again says... he is do for a failure but I am sure he has those just not with my friends. SO, I hope the streak of success continues among the woman that I know who have used him, including me.

When do you think I should test?

7dp3dt?
8dp3dt?
9dp3dt?
10dp3dt?
11dp3dt? Beta Day

4dp3dt

In normal people speak, that is 4 days after a 3 day transfer. See the little guys, were on day 3 when Dr. Knockmeup decided they needed to go home and today is the 4th day from the 3rd day! Have I lost you yet? Good!

We got our freeze report yesterday and none made it to freeze. Very sad but I do see the light in that 2 were very early blastocysts. So, it just means they were a little behind. And, well that is okay. The ones that were put back were just a little behind so I am going with this whole trend that they will likely be late implanters. It is funny but I talk to them every day. I told J that people will think I am nutty but you know what, this is the closest we have ever gotten to getting KU so as far as I am concerned that I am until next Thursday.

Next Thursday is Beta day. The day, my poor bruised arms go before the nurse to suck out some more blood. At least this time, it is free! YEAH! I just have to wait a day for my progesterone test. I had wanted to fork out another $125 I could have had the test at the lab that does it in one day but I would really like to save some of what little money we have left.
It was funny, yesterday, I stuck something between my chest and my arm to open the car door and holy, heck, battman, my boobs HURT! I am going to attribute it to the PIO (progesterone in oil) that J thankfully gives me every night in the back side.
I do have some pictures of the little guys so I will leave you with images of what I hope will one day be in my arms.

3dt

Well, we did a 3dt today. They put back 2 - 7 cell grade 2.5 and one 6 cell 2.5. They are really hopefully that they will stick. We have 3 more growing away so I hope and pray that they grow to being frozen as well.

Shots and Mock Transfer

Well, today I went in for a suppression check and to do a mock transfer. See when they put the little embies back in, they have to put them back at the best place. So, they do a mock transfer to ensure that they know the size of your uterus. It wasn't too bad until the doc hit the back of it! OMG. Shock wave. Now for the rest of the day I have had cramps and a general yucky feeling! I am cleared to proceed with shots when old Aunt Flo shows up. Yeah, I have been off the pill now since Sunday and just light spotting. She actually has to show up for me to start the next stage. Isn't that nice.

So, here is hoping to the hag to show up!

My Meds arrived & the fun has started

My meds arrived partially on Monday & the rest on Tuesday. As I was putting one of them into the fridge at work (it has to stay refrigerated), one of my coworkers came up to me to ask if that was a new way to bring lunch to work. I told her no, that it was my medications. Well, that apparently did not go over well, she hasn't talked to me since then!

Today I went to Dr. Knockmeup and a visit to the dildocam. All was nice and quite. I started the first set of shots tonight, it is the Lu.pron. J did the first shot and it was okay. I think that I will try to do the one tomorrow morning knowing that he can come in and help me when he gets off of work. I am dreading the headaches but knowing that this is all part of the plan.

I am so scared that this will not work. It is such a big chance and an expensive one at that. I am trying to reduce my stress, I am trying to get as much done at work as I can without stressing myself out. Next appt is next Thursday, then it is shots two times a day!

Next appt is the baseline and to write a nice large check. Oh. My.

IVF Meds! Yikes!!

We are starting on week 2 of BCP. Today, I got a call from the pharmacy and about fell over with the cost of the medications. For people that do not have insurance to cover the cost of fertility medications, it is expensive! I spent a portion of today going over the list and checking to see where else I could get them filled. I was able to save about 50% by having them called in at various places. It is amazing to me that the cost of medications can vary so much!

I have also been looking at dates. ER is currently set for my Grandmothers birthday and if we do conceive on that date, then the baby will be due on our anniversary! It just seems like the timing would be so perfect. I vacilate between being so excited and then so scared. I am excited at the chance to be pregnant with our child but so scared that it wont take, that we will have wasted all that money or that we will get a BFP and then loose the baby. It is such a wave of emotions and they come and go.

I am so scared. We have so much riding on this and we are in the best hands, really. Dr. Knockmeup has the greatest success rates and the lab is great too. I am sure that we are in the best hands! As my nurse K, says, YOU will get pregnant! The power of positive thinking. I have to talk with my boss about needing days off. I can only hope that they are in different weeks so that I can take less PTO. But, I will do whatever I have to do. I have been taking my vitamins regularly and not drinking cokes! I miss them but know that the water is better for me. I really need to start walking again. Whether we get pregnant or not, walking will really help me!

My appointments are set up and ready to go. J and I have to make some decisions on what to do with the leftovers, if there are any. We have to sign consents three times! Yikes. I am sure that it will all be okay. I just wish that the packet would come in the mail so that we can get all the consents to review.

On to other non IVF news, J is switching jobs! He is going from nights to days and to part time! YEAH! I am so excited!! We expected him to go to days next summer now it is here early. YEAH!!! Sorry,I am just a bit excited.

T is doing good in school so far. Still having to remind him but oh, well.

Well, I am off to bed. Good night!

IVF is underway...

Houston, we are a go!

14 days of doxy
20 days of BCP
10 days of Lupron
10-12 days of stims

Lots of drugs + 12K to Dr. Knockmeup = a 50% chance of having a baby in 9 months.

No caffeine for the next several months and no migraine medication. Boy, is it going to be fun around this house.

A look into my future efforts to have a baby....

I will never be one of those people that can get knocked up with a little luck and just plain ol sex. I will never be accidentally pregnant.
My pregnancy will be very timed and very expensive.
There will be lots of doctors visit and drugs.
Drugs to calm my ovaries, drugs to make them super ovulate, drugs to thicken the home for my hopeful, future child.
There will be nothing natural or accidental or old fashioned about conception.
There will be lots of planning, lots of scheduling and lots of one on one time with Dr. Knockmeup.
Injection training wont be in my future but not because I wont be getting them but because my other half can do that.
My refrigerator will hold all the usual things plus the meds as they must be kept cold.
Good by caffeine, alcohol and exercise because this is just so expensive that nothing can upset the delicate balance of my body
Hello to hormones on high alert, weight gain just because and tears without reason.

As I told my mother the other day, we have already spent the other kids college fund before they get to college so why not spend this future one's? I am sure Dr. Knockmeup and his staff need a new painting in the waiting room or a boat or something.

Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Dr. Knockmeup. He is very caring, takes his time and is so helpful. It really makes it just a bit easier to write out that check.

Anyway, today is a bad day for wishing, wanting but not able to start down that road just yet.

Sorry so long!

My oh My! It has been a long time. Summer is almost half over and we are still jugging along. J is doing well in school, T is back from one summer camp and on to another on Tuesday! I start teaching on Tuesday for an online course and sometime in the next couple of weeks, I am presenting at a conference in Dallas! Wooohooo!

T starts the 11th grade here shortly and J will start his last year of school in late August. S starts the 6th grade and I am sure there will be a large amount of girly, girly drama with teenagers or almost teenagers!

On the baby front, Dr. Knockmeup wants to proceed to IVF due to my situation so that is where we are going. J has to take care of some things and so do I but he has to go first.

That is the update from here and I will try to be a better blogger!

Cysts... why?!

I went to see Dr. Knockmeup today. We were supposed to get good news so that we could make the choice below. However, not only did my cysts NOT shrink.... I added one! Hot DAMN! My luck SUCKS.

So here is the revised list....

Option 1: IUI - 50% copay with Clomid and NOT injectables.

Option 2: IVF - Insurance doesn't pay anything for meds or procedures.

Dr. Knockmeup said that if the cysts dont go away he will go and do a lap. If he has to do that, then the lap will definitely tell him if Option 1 is even an option.

Stay tuned on the ride of life!

IUI or IVF?

It looks like we will need a little help from our friends... Mr. Green and Dr. Knockmeup. I have a couple of options - one insurance covers and one it doesn't.

Option 1: IUI - 50% copay. May or May not cover the drugs needed through my medical coverage.

• If insurance pays for Meds - I then think that this is a no brainer. We would try 2-3 before moving on to IVF.
• If insurance doesn't pay for Meds - then I think we may try 1 cycle and then move to IVF

Option 2: IVF - Insurance doesn't pay anything for meds or procedures.

• We would likely be able to do 1 IVF and one FET cycle.

I am not sure which is the best option that will get us to holding a baby that is ours. I feel it is a crap shoot either way. Only time will tell and Mr. Green and Dr. Knockmeup - will do their best to accomplish the mission.

RE Update

Well, I got a cyst still so on to BCP I go. Lovely.
I go back in May for another exam and we will find out further test results on Wednesday.
It will be interesting to see what happens and how that changes our path next week.